My Soccer Obsessed Family

I was so rudely disturbed from the boring readings I was trying to wade through today by the shrill sound of "I'm going to kill you!" This vile threat instantly caught my attention and I jumped up to race to my brother's defense against the force of evil. My stupid sister was trying to attack him and my brother was getting a bit hysterical and returning her threats with all these weird ones, I think he was a bit confused and in his anger couldn't speak properly because I don't know how he could possibly "smush your leg into your brain" or where he got "ugly hairy face you smell like my shoes in a toilet" from. So basically they were fighting over who got the tv. Z wanted to watch the soccer game and M wanted to play his soccer videogame. The reasonable thing to do would have been for one of them to go to the basement tv but we think there's a man living in the basement and I have total proof because I heard him breathing. Anyways this got me thinking about how my family has become so obsessed with soccer over the years it's really becoming impossible for us to have a regular conversation:

Dinner-time @ my house:

Dad - Z did you watch the game?

Z - Oh yeah it was so cool you should have watched but let me tell you every single move because I memorized them

M - (not to be outdone) Yeah I memorized them better you don't know nothing anddd I'm a better soccer player than you!

Z - Oh yeah!!!

M - yeah!!!!

'liya - Hey I bet you guys never memorized a sonnet!*

M - What's a sonnet?

Z - Ignore her she's talking weird

Dad - Come on I don't have all day, so who won, who scored, teams, players, goals, blah blah blah .........

Mom - Anyone want more spinach?

So as you can see from this fine example, pretty much anyone who doesn't play soccer is ignored from family conversations, activities etc. yes my dad still plays soccer, he's been playing every weekend since I was born, only now he plays 3 times a week. M plays soccer but it seems like he's more into the videogame than the actual soccer itself probably because he's so lazy (but cute). Z is totally obsessed with soccer and it doesn't help that she just scored the winning goal that took her indoor soccer team into the finals which is where she is now and which is what I can't stand because she has such a big head because of it and I know I'll never hear the end...

In a sense having two soccer obsessed siblings is fine because my dad doesn't have to beg me to play soccer with him which is what he used to do before. Even so I guess I could still keep all those baby photos of me posing with a soccer ball (I probably wanted to eat it cause thats normal baby behaviour and I probably was also thinking I don't want this silly toy I want a Barbie! and take me out of these boy clothes I'm a girl!)


*For those of you who don't know a sonnet is a type of poem...
p.s I think the sport your father loves really influences your choice no matter where you live because my brother and sister can't stand hockey. If you want to know about Zra she doesn't say a word at dinner just reads the paper which hangs over and sometimes falls into my plate which I can't stand. But then if I tell her to move it she just yells so it's better to ignore it.