Them & Us

I just finished reading a paper that a student wrote about how her parents met, fell in love, and subsequently married. It was an interesting read and while it had nothing to do with the topic I assigned, it did get me thinking and inspired this post. Like most people, my parents met at university, however, unlike most, my parents actually saw each other a long long loooong time before that - when they were children - which really is insignificant because it had nothing to do with their actual meeting - but it's kinda cool - and, oh yeah, that first meeting, well it was in a different country.

THEM:

They met at York.

My parents came to Canada from South Africa when they were quite young. Apartheid drove both sets of grandparents and their children here around the same time. They actually had attended the same middle school in SA but didn't know each other at the time. Imagine that! Seeing a little boy or girl everyday and not knowing he or she might end up as your future spouse... what are the chances? What are the chances the you're born on the other side of the world, come to a new place, and meet someone who, just like you, was born on that side of the world too?

Well, my dad and his family moved to Brampton. He attended Brampton Centennial. My mom and her family lived in Toronto first and then moved to Mississauga. She went to Applewood - a neighbouring high school to the school I teach at now. Both of them went on to study at York. Both of them joined the MSA.

My dad fell in love with my mom before he met her. He became interested in her because she was the prettiest South African Muslim girl he had ever seen.

But they both tell different versions of the story:

My dad gives us the sad sob story - "I always saw her walking with her friends... she was so pretty... she never even looked at me, she didn't even know I existed."

My mom tells it funnier - "I didn't even know who he was! How was I supposed to know he was looking at me!"

The South African community in those days was really small and everyone knew everybody else so to my dad's luck, when he mentioned her to his parents, they knew who she was right away and loved his choice.

My mom had a harder time, and this is where it gets good because the best part of this story is that my grandma (my mom's mom), didn't even LIKE my dad at first. Two reasons which she won't admit now: 1 - because she thought my dad was on drugs (his eyes were always red - but that was because he used to play soccer day and night) and 2 - because she thought he was Tablighi Jamaat... in other words, somewhat of an extremist. Both reasons pretty much refute themselves because my grandma thinks everyone is on drugs and she also thinks everyone is an extremist.

And so they got to know each other, fell in love (which according to my dad was a long drawn out process because my mom went back to SA for a vacation and also went for Hajj with her family while my dad was left pining after her), and the rest is history.

You've really got to feel sorry for my dad, my story doesn't do his tale of the events justice. When he tells us the story he reeaalllly emphasizes the fact that my mom would walk past him at school and never glance his way.

When my mom tells the story you feel less sorry for him because she always mentions that the first time his family came to her house to meet, he plopped himself down in front of their TV, tuned in to soccer, and ignored her until they left. His excuse? He was shy. My mom said she kept thinking she could never marry anyone so obsessed with a sport. Well what what do you know, she married him.

Now soccer is his second wife.

After two years of blissful marriage, the next joyous event in their lives as a married couple was the birth of none other than me. And that brought all happiness to an end because I was one cranky and attention-demanding child. I hope I never have a child like me.


US:

We met at Second Cup some 6.5 years ago. Nuffy was present. I remember thinking 'why am I skipping physics?' Now I know that skipping physics is really the sensible thing to do. Dropping physics is even more sensible. Ruby says that "The best way to meet The One, the most tried and true, is through someone else" - okay, so she might be talking about hairdressers, but I never would have met V if it wasn't for Nuffy.

I don't even think we ordered anything. They were playing cards. I was sucking a red lollipop. I liked lollipops then. I still do. I didn't like coffee then and I don't now. V doesn't like it either. Maybe that's why we're together, we both don't like coffee so that's something we have in common. We also don't like tea. Other than that, we disagree on basically everything. We're pretty much a younger version of my parents except that you can substitute hockey for soccer. I give him 3 years, after that I'm betting he'll be asking to take soccer as his second wife too.

On my legs were my most absolute favourite pair of jeans. They were blue and had a slight shimmer. Ever read the Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants books? Please don't laugh, I just read the 4rth one in the series last weekend (yes, I do have a life). But these were my magical jeans. Magical things happened when I wore them. Plus they made my legs feel nice and skinny. Maybe that's why things clicked. And they've been clicking ever since though I don't for the life of me know where the jeans are now. I might have given them to my sister when I went to university and decided that shimmer is too teenish.

I didn't say much. I never do. Now he says I say too much. What can I do? All I want to do is talk to him and he says he's tired of my talking.

He stole my red lollipop that day (which by the way cost $1.00), but I stole something bigger. I'm not the type to steal but really it had to be done. I stole his heart. I put it somewhere safe, far out of reach from the grubby hands of other females all wanting to get their share. But I know a good thing when I see it. And I ain't ever giving it back.

V, I love you. I really wish you'd hurry up and finish your exams because I'm dying to call you. My sympathies go out to you and anyone else who is writing exams. You see, I don't write exams anymore, I create them for others to write. I create hard ones (on purpose). Hehe.. no wonder I was an annoying child, I'm an even more annoying person now.

Anyways, I feel my dad's pain of being too shy to approach my mom. I'm more quiet like my dad and V is more outgoing like my mom. I also feel his pain of the long drawn out separation of their engagement. I don't think I even need to explain that. I think 6.5 years speaks for itself.

**

Inshallah, when we get married, we have what my parents have and I hope that God continues to bless us with happiness just as He does them.