Funny-Disturbing

For the past 2.5 months I've been teaching full time everyday (my own class plus substituting for 2 periods each day). On the fateful Friday that this little funny-disturbing (but more disturbing than funny) incident took place, I happened to have a lunch period followed by a prep period. Being the resourceful person that I like to be, I decided to make use of my now "extra long lunch" period and go out. What could go wrong? It was a beautiful day for November and I was feeling great because the classes that I had substituted that morning were two of my favourite... little did I know about the tragic events that would soon unfold.

So I'm being a little dramatic. At the time it was tragic though!

Lunch was fine.

I got back from the pathetic little place that calls itself Rockwood Mall and swung into the first available parking space I saw, with about 15 minutes to spare before my own class. As I was pulling into the space I heard a HUGE scratching sound under my car. Right away my heart skipped a beat (seriously) and I thought I would die! Like what the hell was that and whyyyyyyy?

Did I drive over some huge rock? A student? Was someone shooting at me - from under my car? Did I drive over glass that would cut my tires and leave me stranded there forever?

As you can tell I wasn't really thinking clearly.

The problem:



See it? See that little brown stump on the concrete barrier in my fabulous artistically rendered picture? Well it's some some sort of big rusted nail. Not pleasant. In my quick attempt to park I hadn't noticed it and the front of my car had gone right over the concrete, driving the nail into my car's internal organs (or whatever the under side of the car is called).

After my tense inspection I decided I better get the hell out of there and find another parking spot. But when I got back in the car and began to reverse, there was only skrrchhh. My car was dragging the ENTIRE concrete barrier with it! How embarassing!

I could feel tears welling up in my eyes. I got out of the car to assess the bottom again. Now the nail was pushed up against the bumper(?) of my car and my car had dragged the concrete barrier out of its position and halfway across the parking space. It looked ridiculous! The tears fell. All I could seriously think about was how my car would fall apart if I tried backing it up more. More tears. I began to feel dizzy. I got back in the car and shut the door. I didn't want any of the students hanging around outside to see my dreadful situation. Or see a teacher cry.

Inside the car I began to do breathing exercises. I'm serious, I was really panicking! Why?

My car would fall apart if I tried to reverse anymore... it might even explode...if I did any damage to my car my dad would take it away from me again! If he took it away I'd have to take the bus to work. Students would see me break down my own car and would think that I don't know how to drive. .. They'd be sitting beside me, their teacher on the bus! I'd get in trouble or be looked down upon by the administration who would think why did we ever hire this silly new teacher who can't even park like a human being..

I think I worked myself up to such a frenzy that if I had stayed in the car any longer I would possibly begin hyperventilating. But more likely I'd just black out for a few seconds. I felt like death!

So I did what I always do when I think I'm going to die. I prayed. Then I called my parents.

I begged them to come save me.

My dad's first response: "Did you forgot to say bismillah when you got in the car?"

My mom's first response: "Call CAA! quick call them - I'll call them for you!"

Luckily my dad was on his way to mosque and promised he would stop by the parking lot afterwards. He also had a spare key to my car. Thankfully it was a Friday! If it had been any other day he would have been at work and I'd have no hope but to pass out and die from lack of ozygen inside.

I was still scared though. And deeply embarassed. Anyone driving by would be able to see the mess I had made. The concrete barrier had been pulled so much by my car that a huge pile of leaves had gathered underneath and looked like some kind of leaf explosion. Whoever would be parking beside me would definitely notice and might even contact the authorities! Not wanting to spend the night in jail, I ran into the school looking for the VP that I knew would help me calm down. I couldn't find him! I then went to the department office and sat down at my desk realizing that my class would start in 5 minutes. I decided I couldn't go through with the fun group activity project I had planned. I just wasn't up to it. I quickly ran to photocopy some worksheets so that my students could do quiet seatwork so I could rest my poor self and gather my thoughts in an attempt to think rationally.

The end.

NO!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm sitting at my desk in the classroom and all the students are working ever so quietly like little angels and then all of a sudden this LOUD voice from the back of the room breaks the silence:

"MS. C -------, someone is thiefing your car!!!!!"

24 faces look up at me.
25 bodies run to the window. I was one of them.

Obviously it was my dad, but being in the state that I was in, I couldn't even put the two together until I got to the window. I had forgotten that my entire class knows which car I drive. I had also forgotten that I had parked in plain view from my classroom window. I had also forgotten that my students in the back row love spending every single second of class time looking outside. Eek! Seeing that I wasn't panicking they then demanded explanations.

So they got explanations. I confessed to the parking problem and admitted that my daddy had to come save my day.

They laughed. They asked me why I hadn't asked a student to help me out. They asked me why I hadn't tried moving the concrete barrier myself. They asked me if I was drunk.

One student had the wonderful idea of opening the window to yell out "hi" to my dad and invite him to come into the classroom. I quickly extinguished his hope of meeting the father of poor Ms. C. We watched my dad reverse and then park my car into a new spot, then get back into his van and drive away. Of course I couldn't say anything to him in the process. Not professional! Plus he had no idea that we were all standing by the window watching.

3:15
I came home.

My dad asked me why I didn't just reverse the car. I told him I had tried but the barrier had begun dragging back with me. He told me he had just put the car in reverse and backed away. Then he began complaining that he had come all the way just to reverse my car for me - something I could have easily done on my own. Great.

My mom gave me a big lecture about panicking. She then told me she's going to start giving me more spinach to make me stonger :S

Lovely, just lovely.

I had tried reversing, it didn't work!!!!

P.S There's a tiny little dent at the bottom part of the car (not noticeable at all unless you're sleeping under the car).