Every little girl's dream...

I think every little girl at some point in her little girl's life, daydreams about her big day - her big wedding day. I remember when my sister and I were younger, whenever we'd be at weddings, we'd always sit there making grand plans about how fabulous our own future weddings would be in comparison to the one we were attending. Sometimes the weddings we went to measured up to our high standards. At other times they didn't.

Maybe some of my female readers know what I'm talking about here... you know, the whole fairy-tale wedding -- a wedding of Cinderella-esque proportions: the fluffy white dress, long lacy veil, pretty decorations and little gifts for each guest arranged artistically around the table settings... big decorated hall with an even larger guest list, cheerful flower centerpieces, a perfectly co-ordinated colour scheme.. bridesmaids that follow the bride and see to her every wish, cute little flowergirls, a huge stack of pretty wrapped gifts in the corner waiting to be unwrapped later with ever-smiling hubby-to-be.. layered cake with enough layers to rival a mini bookshelf.. glittering invitations.. speeches with maybe even a video presentation!.. fake happiness.. fake smile.. all just to look good for the camera and please the family-- oh barf.

I used to be that little girl.

I'm not anymore.

I've been to too many weddings to see what a waste of money most of them turn out to be. How can someone justify spending $45,000 on a single day? I know I can't and even if I had the money to do so, it wouldn't feel right. Is it necessary for the groom to come riding in on a horse? Do you need to have an ice sculpture? Is there some reason that the bride wants to have a water fountain in the middle of her wedding cake? I think some people tend to go overboard and not look at the bigger picture. Yes it's a day of celebration, but it shouldn't be about trying to show up the next person. We all want something beautiful and memorable, but does it need to be outrageously expensive to be so?

V and I are going to be paying for our wedding ourselves. I've already decided that I won't accept any money from my parents because they have enough on their plates with my sister going off to university in the September. I want to keep it simple. But simple with style.

My requests:

• I want to have a very small and intimate wedding. I don't want to have it in a stuffy banquet hall like every other wedding I've been to, I want to have it someplace meaningful. I want to have it in my aunt's backyard in Oakville. They have a super huge backyard that's quite gorgeous and I think it would be the perfect location because it holds so many nice memories for me. It used to be my grandma's house and I practically grew up under their big tree - the biggest one in the forest behind it - the perfect backdrop to my envisioned dream.
  
• I want the guest list to be minuscule. I don't want there to be a single person there that I don't know. That means that my mom isn't allowed to invite all her gossipy friends and my dad isn't allowed to invite his entire soccer team. And my brother is definitely not allowed to invite his friend who's always at our house 24/7.
  
• As a little girl I always imagined receiving oodles of beautifully wrapped gifts. As I got older and came to understand the coolness of gift registries, I'd always have great fun in thinking where we would register. Now I couldn't care less. If I could have it my way, I'd rather my guests donate the intended gift money to a charity of mine and V's choice. We're not financially stable and could use the toasters, coasters, or vases, but, I can think of other people that are in much more desperate need to buy things they need, that's need, and not want, and I'd feel much better knowing my wedding would in some small way, be making the world a better place.
  
• Because the wedding is going to be so small, I want it to be deeply personal. I want my aunt's father, who is a local Imam, to conduct our nikkah. I want my brother and my 12 year old boy cousins to recite from the Quran and show off their beautiful voices and the even more beautiful words. From my side, I want my sisters to be my bridesmaids, I want my two 7 year-old cousins to be my flowergirls, and I want my adorably cute 4 year old cousin to be my little ring boy. I want the mutual friend I share with V, to make a speech. I want my talented photographer friend to be the one taking our pictures. And as for the food, I want it to all be South African fare. If my grandma needs to go in and show the caterers how to do so, then so be it.
  

And that's it.

Now, just because I don't want to have my baby pictures flashed on a PowerPoint presentation doesn't mean my wedding won't be nice. I want it to be beautifully decorated. I want to show my artistic side. I also think it'll be easier to make it more me, the smaller it is. I'm a quiet person and I don't like flashy things (despite my new template which is being quite the pain), and I think small and elegant (not cheap), fits me better than excessively large and tacky, which is what it seems most weddings have come to be.

If you have the money and can, then go ahead and splurge on your wedding. You only get married once (hopefully) so make it the best day. I just know I wouldn't be able to justify spending so much on one day - no matter how special that day is - because everyday should be special and the ones that come after that day should be even more meaningful.

Now...let the planning begin...
And as for the honeymoon, that's a whole other story :D