It's THAT time.

I'm under SO much stress right now - not related to my job in any way - but also completely related to my job in every way - that is, my future job. I have a huge application package to get ready for applying to positions for the 2007-2008 school year. High school positions come out on Thursday and I was told that they disappear before you can even blink.

I've been avoiding working on the package because I don't want to leave my school, but as a non-permanent teacher I don't have a choice... student enrollment for next year is down and they're cutting teachers... because I'm not permanent and I'm brand new, I'll probably be the first to go as we already have too many English teachers. I appreciate everything that the admin has done to help me, they've gone way out of their way to do everything they can to keep me. They're the best and I couldn't have asked for anything better, but maybe I really did luck out this semester in getting the full-time position because they liked me... I'm so appreciative for that. I've had an awesome year so far and it just keeps getting better every day. What they say about having the hardest year of your life as a first year teacher - nonsense in my case! Just thinking of not being at this school next year makes me all teary. I love my classes, I love my students and I love the school... *sigh* why oh why can't someone get pregnant or move away so I can stay? :(

In other news, I ran into HIM today. HIM refers to the teacher that I've seen around the school who I always thought looked SO familiar. I never thought much of it, I've even chatted with him before about random things like photocopying, but today it hit me -- that teacher, was MY SCIENCE TEACHER in high school! When I realized it I couldn't believe it! I'm teaching alongside one of my own teachers!! I can't for the love of anything remember what grade it was, probably one of the junior years, but by gosh, he was my teacher! Should I tell him? I feel weird. In many ways, realizing that made me feel very young... too young.

...It's like, you think you're growing up, that you're an adult in the working world, that you've been working for a full school year in charge of teenage students of your own, and then something like this makes you feel like a kid again... kinda like I should be walking into a science lab and taking out my binder, sitting down, and preparing to take notes. But I'm not the student anymore, - it's May, and that still hasn't sunk in. Did I really graduate from university last year? And for that matter, when the hell did I graduate from high school? I want to take notes and highlight them with pretty colours.